We Have A Listening Problem

 

 Scriptures:
Proverbs 18:13 (KJV)
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

Inspiration:

We love the sound of our own voices. We especially love that tingly sensation that we get right before making a point. We cut people off before they have finished talking and we interject with what we deem to be a connection when in all actuality, we have hijacked the conversation and managed to make yet another conversation about us. That reminds me of the time....

We feel the need to assert our verbal prowess with a selfish verbosity that causes others to dread even asking about our day. We sure love talking. And advice? Who needs it? Receiving it would require that we actually close our mouths long enough to hear it!

Usually, our incessant talking involves dumping our burdens onto someone else. Sometimes, our incessant talking involves us throwing around epiphanies and revelations that may or may not have been meant for other folks.

Why, LORD? Why does he/she/we talk sooooo much and listen so infrequently?!


Potential Reasons Why Folks Talk.Talk.Talk.Talk

1. Excitement~ We are just so happy to speak with youuuu!
2. Ignorance~ We just don't know any better
3. Selfishness~ We know better, but we don't do better
4. Nervousness or anxiety~ Any ounce of silence leaves us alone with our own thoughts for too long! Must. Make. Noise!!!!
5. Doubt or self-consciousness~ "Are you judging me? I'm going to talk until you nod or say that you agree with meeeee!"
6. Desire to show what you know~ "Oh, so you're one of those intellectuals? Well, I know some things about some things as well!"
7. We don't respect other people/certain people as having credible funds of knowledge:  "Noooppeee, you're wrong! I read a study and heard the opposite of what you just said. In fact, I disagree with everything that you said just because YOU said it."
8. Inclination to restate what someone else just said but as if you said it ~"Ya, it's like I was saying the other day...."
9. External vs. internal processing of ideas~ Speaking my thoughts helps me to process what goes on. Pondering internally is not my thing.
10. We need to vent or decompress ~ You're the first human that I've come into contact with all dayyyyyyyyy! Let me tell you about my day, week, and month!!
11. People need/want to feel loved~ Will you please just listen to me? I have something valuable to say and offer to this conversation... and possibly to your life.

After doing this root-cause analysis, attempting to determine why we talk so much, and listen so infrequently, I think I've stumbled upon the root. Not surprisingly, we over-talk and under-listen because we need love and have a desire to feel that love from other people. People want their perspectives to be acknowledged, we want our intellect to be validated, we want to engage with you through words. We don't listen because of a preoccupation with receiving love without considering how we could actually give love by really listening to someone. When we truly listen to someone, we are ministering to them!

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Confession: I think that it's important for me to admit that I've had some experiences with excessive talkers that have possibly created some biases in my root-cause analysis. Although I am confident that the ROOT is a lack of love/quest for more love, the list of potential reasons why we over-talk is by no means exhaustive!


A word of caution: Don't let the enemy distort today's focus and prevent you from verbalizing your testimony or sharing a word of encouragement with someone. The goal is to do more listening, less judging and less talking. Encouragement is welcome! Be wary of slipping into condescension though! Be prayerful throughout and let the Holy Spirit lead you!

You may end up getting blessed through actually listening!

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TASK OF THE DAY 16:

Today, your/our task is to LISTEN. Like, really LISTEN to others. When you really listen, ask curious questions, refrain from judging or challenging or sharing how this conversation reminds you of another conversation where you're the star attraction. As we're listening, let's give the speaker eye contact if they are giving it to us (they may want to look away and that's okay too!). While listening, let's remain prayerful. Pray for the speaker regarding the various issues and topics that come up. When you do speak (without taking over the conversation), let the LORD speak through you... Speak scriptures as though they were flowing from your belly. Listen closely, receive a word from God (through an unlikely vessel) and speak life!

#T.O.D.forGod
#BetterLover

James 1:19 (KJV)
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

Proverbs 12:15 (KJV)

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.